What are they? - part II
- The dysfunctional pattern is adopted by most members of the nuclear family
- Social isolation, self-esteem and self-confidence attacks
- Attack to your perception of reality
- Fear and unsafety feelings' instigation
- Defamation, putting forward multiple obstacles, exclusion, need to nitpick daily about insignificant, distorted or simply invented things
- Punishment if the target shows his will or makes efforts in the sense of leaving the dysfunctional dynamics
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2 comments:
I can't believe that you haven't had any comments on this subject. You are "right on" in what you are saying.
Six years ago I moved "home" to be with my family after being away for 30 years. I felt that what had happened to me in my family prior to my leaving when I was 20 was just a figment of my imagination because I was having no problems (well, occasionally).
Things went well for two years then the s**t hit the fan and I received every one of the above patterns from my family. Back to the shrink... Now, I realize what is happening and am now just ignoring the family. I'm not invited to parties, holidays or even dinners because I won't go along with them and am trying to break the circle with my behavior. I have no friends, I have to fight my mind continuously to realize that I'm seeing the reality, even if they aren't. The defamation to all of my other relatives and my acquaintences is horrible because everyone believes the lies and the lies are so childish that I refuse to contradict them. As for the invented things - good grief - I don't even see these people any more and they still tell people what I am doing to them.
I'm lonely, jealous of my sisters, I hurt even though I try to convince myself that it is them not me.
So, I am putting my house up for sale and am moving back to where all my friends are and where I will feel like a human being again and not a door mat. This family is worse than no family!
Join the club - I'm not invited to parties, holidays or any other type of celebration either (and if I was, I think I wouldn't go, because the primary agressor - my mother - is always invited). I'm not even invited or asked if I want to see my niece/nephew or miss them - even if that does not involve my mother. Patterns return over time, even if for some periods they can be disguised.
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